yardens emotional and physical circuitry
Yarden Zamir
I'm good at giving myself what I want, my sensitivity to my inner self is very high. Many times there is good correlation between what I want and what I need, like with food, with physical movement, physical touch and closeness (most things physical are synced) but when it comes to my emotional needs it's more disconnected, meaning the stuff that I need emotionally do not translate directly to want, and because my want is my biggest drive to action, I don't act / don't know how to act in favor of my emotional needs. This leads to me looking inwards a lot, and looking for solidity in others a lot.
Note that the square representing my emotional needs is divided into another smaller square, and that one is the only part connected directly to want, meaning that even the small part of emotional need that I can easily see and understand, doesn't automatically translate for me, and needs active action in some cases.
A big part of my journey is expanding the small square that leads to want and action without my translation layer, which mainly means building bridges and kicking down walls.
I also find myself trying more and more to push the line representing my understanding and control of both the emotional and the physical further back, the instinctual need to be in control, to understand and to map my innermost self and to be able to shape it to what my logic believes and wants. I do not see this as a good thing, a positive thing, not inherently at least, and I think this sort of push has in many cases more negative sides than positive ones. We are not supposed to go past certine depths, we some things are built to be automatic and instinctual and deconstructing our nature, assuming we can do better will oftentimes lead to worse outcomes and more suffering.